It seems that submission is a dirty word to us today. It is an even dirtier concept for marriage in our society. However, I am a rebel to society in this case. I feel that my willingness and ability to be a submissive wife is a key to maintaining a Godly marriage. Please know that I am not here to upset anyone, and I don't want to debate. However, I do feel that we hear a great deal from women who do not believe in submission to their husbands and very little from the other side. So, here I am, unqualified as I may be. Keep an open mind.
I think the world hears the phrase "submissive wife" and pictures a June Cleaver type lady but one who is brow beaten, talked down to, and mistreated by her husband; or maybe one who lacks confidence, courage, or intelligence; or possibly a weak woman who simply can't stand up for herself. I don't buy into this stereotype. Do these ladies exist? Yes, and I pray for them, their husbands, and their children. However, I don't believe they are the portrait of submission that the Bible paints. In return, we often think of men who believe in wifely submission and think of egotistical bigots who want a woman they can walk all over. Do these men exist? Yes, and I pray for them, their wives, and their children. The Bible tells us that a wife should submit to her husband, and that is enough reason for it to be a goal of mine.
Dean and I didn't really discuss this particular idea before getting married. I don't know why, but for some reason it didn't seem necessary. I grew up in a family where the husband was a natural, strong leader, and where the wife was a natural supporter. This idea was instilled in me, but I can see where it could be a struggle for a woman who did not experience how well the pairing could work. I think there are a few things we need to keep in mind when deciding to be submissive wives:
1. Being a submissive wife is easier to a Godly husband.
2. Being submissive doesn't make you weak, but shows that you are strong.
3. Being submissive is a healthy example for your children.
4. Being submissive does not mean you do not help with the decision making.
5. Being a submissive wife will make your husband a stronger, more confident man.
I can't possibly talk about all of these points in this one post, so I will have several posts about this topic. I promise that I will post as quickly as I can about these ideas as I seek out wisdom and scripture to express myself. I know that I am a lucky woman. I rarely "feel" that I am submitting to my husband. Dean is a wonderful man to be aware of his leadership in our family while making sure our children see that Mommy is a very important part of our success(es) as a group. As we start on this journey together, those of you willing to follow along, I want us all to get in the Bible about the idea. The two most obvious scriptures that come to my mind are:
Ephesians 5:22 which says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
and
Colossians 3:10 which says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
I want this to be our diving board. Don't just look at these verses, but go to your Bible or online and read the whole chapters. See what is going on, get a feel for the setting, and then digest it with prayer. These scriptures offer up large orders. Submitting my being to God isn't even that easy, and He is perfect. Now I am asked to put myself completely in the hands of a mere mortal to the same extent as I do with my Savior? AND He sees that as glorious to Him? Wow. Here we go ladies. Let's start off this Saga with prayer for ourselves AND our husbands/future husbands.
"Heavenly Father, give me wisdom. I feel so unworthy of even dealing with this issue, but I know it is what you want me to do. Help me to gain the knowledge I need on this journey. Help my sisters who choose to live this way. Give them courage, strength, and your blessings. Help our precious husbands as well. Make them men who are worthy leaders, Godly leaders, and sensitive leaders. Help our sisters who believe that submission is a negative trait. We praise You, God."
Please know that I understand some readers will get upset about this series of posts. I also understand that these posts could lose some readers/followers for the blog. I know without a doubt there are people who will scoff, laugh, and shake their heads. It's okay. I am a pretty secure woman. I welcome comments from anyone, but I will not let this turn into an angry or hateful debate of any kind, so I will only allow respectful comments to be made public. I am writing this feeling like part of a minority trying to give voice to women who choose to be submissive in their marriages. I believe that there are more of us out there than most people would like to believe. I am fighting a cultural agenda that began before my time, while I refuse to buy into society's lies that tell me I am ignorant if I let a man have any kind of power over me. There is freedom in submission to God; therefore, there is freedom in marital submission.
Wish me luck. Better yet, pray for me.
