Letting go...(a little)

     I'm a self professed control freak when it comes to my kids' doctor appointments.  However, taking the first six weeks of the school year off, and missing every time one of my three kids has been sick has taken a toll on my leave days (meaning I only have a few and that is after some very generous friends donated me some of theirs).  So, for the first time ever, I will be sending the twins to a "well baby" check up with someone else.  Granted, my mother is the one taking them, and I know she will ask any questions I give her (I hope the doctor doesn't see my mom and think he's getting out of anything).  If it can't be me (or Dean of course) to take them, I'm glad it's her, because I'm a lot like her in my tendency to ask too many questions out of a fear of not asking enough.  It still makes me sad though.  I know Tank will get his feelings her when the smiling nurse gives him a shot, and Tinker Belle will be devastated by the pain and cry on and off for a few minutes.  I know that the appointment falls right before nap time and that the trip over will make them fall asleep and get them off schedule.  I wish I were going, and honestly, I'm not completely convinced I won't change my mind and do so.  More than anything, though, I think this is a test for me.  Am I capable of letting go of that control?  I'll wait until after the appointment to finish this post...
     Well, I did in fact let my mom and my sister in law take the twins to their check up.  You know what?  The world didn't end, and I don't feel horribly judged by anyone.  Luckily, they didn't get shots this time.  Tinker Belle is still measuring tiny, and Tank is still measuring pretty big.  My mother asked plenty of questions, and they didn't wreck just because I wasn't in the car.  In truth, this was one of the least stressful appointments for the twins.  Even though I packed the diaper bag and laid out their clothes, it seemed like a lot less work to prepare for the visit.  This may be because they are getting older, I'm getting better at packing up their stuff, or (oh, yeah) the fact that I didn't actually have to get them dressed (smiles).  It all worked out fine in the end.  I don't know if I secretly think there's an award in a doctor's office for the mother who accompanies her children to every  appointment, or if I just want them to know that I am the mom (which equals the most important person in each child's life and therefore you must respect me....).  I truly don't know what drives me to be the one there asking a huge list of mostly ridiculous questions.  It was good for me though to send them with my mom and sis in law.  I learned that something like that can be let go, and I'm the same mother I was before.
     For those of you who understand my sick obsession, here's my prayer for us:  "Father, help me to always remember that You are all I need, and whether I am reading to accept it or not, You are all my children need as well.  Help me to realize that it is okay to let others help me with my children.  Thank You for people who want to do so.  Thank You for surrounding my family with others who love us sincerely.  Help me to let go of things that are not important.  Help me to let go of my mommy ego.  I will praise You forever."