Picture this: You have put all of your dear children to sleep after a long, stressful day. You sit down on the couch to watch your show (the one chance you get a day to relax and be entertained). Just as your mind begins to check out for a while, you hear the padding of little feet down the hallway, and you believe that one of your little cherubs is coming for one last goodnight kiss. Sure enough, little Tank with his angel grin comes into the room. You notice he is holding his hands out and mumbling something. You see that there is something on his hands, and your mind goes to the worst case scenario...Yep, poop. There are lots of glamorous moments in parenting life, but there is NOTHING glamorous about potty training (even when the job is done). Why on earth would he poop and then proceed to try and take care of the problem himself? How on earth does the amount of poop that comes out of a toddler turn into so much when smeared on every surface in his room (can I get an amen)? How on earth do you get his clothes off and him in the tub without getting in on his face? (I resisted the urge to just cut it down the back) WHY? WHY? WHY? I say with no apologies that I HATE potty training. I have actually offered to pay my mother to do it for me. She refused. I understand why though, it's a crappy job, literally.
Okay, so it's been forever since I have posted, and mostly it's because I have been waiting to tell you about my successfully potty trained twins. Alas, I am still fighting the fight in this crappy job called potty training. With Princess, potty training was a breeze: we had a heart to heart explaining why she should use the potty, we talked about how big girls didn't wear diapers, and voila, she was well on her way. It wasn't flawless, but once we actually went through with it, she understood the point and tried her best. I always thought she was pretty strong willed, but she was also eager to please which helped the process. Enter Tinker Belle.
Here's the thing about Tinker Belle, she does NOT CARE if big girls use the potty, she does NOT CARE if going pee pee in her panties equals a puddle in the floor and icky legs. She does NOT want to use the potty. We, my friends, are at an impasse. Dean and I have no idea where to go from here. I have felt horribly about this for months. It's not that I thought potty training would be super easy with twins, but I simply feel like I can't reach them, and Tinker in particular. I can't get her to understand the importance of potty training. She simply won't take it seriously. Then I realized, "SHE'S TWO! Not much is important in her eyes right now. It's not the end of the world!" My kid won't use the potty. Big stinking deal. Why, then, do I feel like my kids should be fully potty trained at two and a half?...Well, here's my thinking. I have said before that I think every moment in life lends itself to a spiritual lesson. Here are a few lessons that I've recently picked up from my "crappy job" of potty training.
1. I'm prideful when it comes to my kids. --This is a sin I work on constantly in my life. I want them to look, act, and feel perfect at all times. Obviously, with a blog bearing this name, I do not feel that I ever reach that moment for long. The sin is still there, and once I realized early in motherhood that I was putting unneeded pressure on Princess in order to achieve perfection, I tried to stop the behavior and assess the cause. I have worked nonstop for the better part of five years to lay off a little when it comes to Princess. I had to realize that when Psalms says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made", it means that our little personality quirks are part of that as well. Sometimes she doesn't want to match. Who cares? Sometimes she doesn't want to sing that cute song for people. Big deal. The twins have taught me so much about letting go and not "sweating the small stuff". Not enough, I suppose. I decided this week that my untrained twins are teaching me a little humility in a good way. I have always believed I can do the things I set my mind to; however, my heart needs to be in the right place. At this moment, I want to be able to say that my kids are all potty trained just out of vanity. Lord, forgive me. What a silly girl I am. One day, when they are grown and leaving home to start life on their own, I seriously doubt that they will hold it against me that I didn't have them potty trained by two and a half.
2. The mommy pressure.--My mother thinks that two years old is the perfect age for potty training. My brother and I were both trained at two, and she assures me that I was not an easy student in the school of potty use. I suppose I feel, as most girls do, that my mom knows everything about motherhood, and therefore, I should copy her model for everything. It's not working right now. I'm trying mom. I just can't seem to handle pee in my floor as gracefully as you must have. I cry sometimes when dealing with poop. Here's the thing, my mother was/is, in my opinion, the best version of mother in the world. She is most definitely a Proverbs 31 woman, and her children definitely rose up "and called her blessed".
3. I don't like failure.--Now some of you will think this is silly, but I'm betting lots of you mommies out there will understand this one. In my rational mind, I know that not having my kids potty trained yet even though I have tried to do so, does not equal failure. However, there is always that part of me that sees every delay as a failure. I know that one day the twins will be potty trained. However, a part of me feels that I evidently have not tried hard enough or they would be trained now. I have always been blessed with a great sense of self worth. Critics don't bother me much, because there are few people in this world I try to please. (My mother has always found this amusing and refreshing since I actually get along with most people in my life despite this fact.) On the flip side, I have always been really hard on myself. I don't really need anyone to point out flaws, because I can guarantee you, I have already noticed them. I finally realized this to be a spiritual problem when I was out of college and working. I needed a goal, an immediate goal, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't have one. I always relied on the fact that I was smart, motivated, and blessed. There are times in life, though, where a little dose of failure can be healthy. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us, 9“'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." Am I saying this applies to my weakness in potty training? Not necessarily, but I do think that there's a hint of something in it for me in this situation. It tells me that I don't have to be able to do everything. I don't have to be strong in every area. I don't have to be the perfect mother in my own strength, because I have a God who is a perfect parent and who will help me along the way.
I know that one day I will look back on this potty training moment in life and chuckle about it. I know that far more difficult situations are on their way. Therefore, I am choosing to be thankful that this is even an issue in my life, because that means I must be pretty blessed to be worried with it. I laughed the other day when my mom asked me how potty training was going. I said, "Well, the optimist in me wants to tell you that Tinker Belle used the potty once. The pessimist in me wants to tell you that she peed in the floor five times. You pick which one you listen too." That's how we are in life though, right? We try to look at the bright side, but the clouds roll right in. Here's my prayer for any mother who is in a moment where she is struggling to succeed. Maybe you too are trying to potty train. Maybe you're struggling to breastfeed. Maybe you are trying to get back your prodical child. Maybe you are getting ready to send your new graduate out into a scary world, and you just don't feel ready. Either way, let's lift each other up:
Dear God, thank You for being a God who cares about the small things. Thank You for seeing my details and concerning yourself with them. Help me to keep my perspective in life. Forgive me for my vanity. Forgive me for thinking myself so strong that I don't seek you in every moment of my life. Draw me towards You. If failing makes me better, then God, let me fail. You are the only success I need in life. Help my friends who are dealing with issues different and bigger than mine. Bless them, Lord, and touch their hearts. We praise You, we praise You, we praise You. Amen.
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