Tinker Belle was born just one minute before her twin brother, so she gets the next post. She was absolutely tiny to us. With Princess coming in at 9 pds., and Tank bringing up the rear at 7 pds. 12 oz., Tinker Belle’s 5 pd. and 3 oz. body seemed pretty intimidating. In fact, the specialists’ inability to get a good measurement on her made them believe her to be smaller than she was, which prompted the birth of my duo. Granted, I had 13 pds of baby crammed in there along with their individual living centers, so I am amazed they could actually see anything. I always imagined the next shot to look like one of them had their face pressed to a window, possibly knocking and asking for help. Anyway, back to Tinker.
While I was thrilled at her healthy birth weight, she seemed so little to me. Before I ever even got a look at her, one of the assisting nurses made the comment, “Well, she’s not small at all!” We were relieved to hear it, but couldn’t imagine what a “small” baby was in her opinion if Tinker Belle wasn’t. Tinker Belle’s personality has always been very chill. She’s just calm for the most part. While my other two children wear their feelings on their sleeves, Tinker Belle has an awesome poker face. It’s hilarious to see strangers try to make her smile. Grown up people make absolute fools of themselves in front of her, and she never even smirks. I love it. I’m not saying that she doesn’t express her emotions; I’m simply saying that you don’t know what that emotion is until she explodes into either screaming or laughing.
Tinker Belle is also my clingy baby. At a recent six months old, this characteristic developed. I knew she loved her mommy especially, since she offers me plenty of smiles, but she is now one of those babies who cries when I leave the room or demands that I be the one to hold her if I’m in the room. This makes it difficult when her brother wants me also, and impossible when her brother AND sister want me along with her. Dean and I make it work though. All of our children love him so much that, if they can’t have me, they are satisfied with Dada, and sometimes he’s the one with three babies hanging off of him. Tinker Belle is more like Dean than the other two. She’s reserved, more quiet, and happy to watch the other two being the clowns. She’s the only one of my three children who wakes up happy. The other two wake up crying, because….well I guess they just cry a lot. Tinker, however, wakes up and coos to herself for a while. As long as she’s not left there for too long by herself, she’s pretty ok with whatever.
When the twins were born, nurses and doctors alike all said that they would not be surprised if Tinker Belle caught up or even surpassed her brother in weight very quickly. However, at six months, she was in the 1th percentile. She weighed only 12 pounds and 12 ounces. The doctor, taking into account her growth chart, dainty build, and healthy fat deposits on her little cheeks and legs, says that she’s fine, just dainty. Considering the fact that Princess is only in the 15th percentile, I’m guessing that it’s just the way they are made. There’s nothing wrong with being tiny as long as you’re healthy. It’s just not normal in our society; we are used to chunky babies like Tank. She’s delicate and beautiful.
When I made it to 36 weeks and 3 days, I was thrilled. I thought that meant that the twins wouldn’t have any problems. I was wrong. While Tinker is not a sickly baby, she had an underdeveloped suck, swallow, breathe reflex, and she has had to struggle with reflux pretty badly. (The post about living your nightmare goes into this issue more.) Therefore, she sleeps in a bouncy chair, even now, to keep her from refluxing in her sleep. This is the only issue that seems to bother the doctor, which means it worries me terribly, of course. We are actually going to try to transition her into her crib in a propped position again tonight, so pray that we actually sleep a little. Every night when I put her to bed I pray this line within the prayer I say over her: “God, she is Yours. You love her more than I am even capable of loving. Your will is perfect, and I trust in Your will. I pray You protect her from harm, but I know that You will do what is best for my child whether I can see the truth in the situation or not.” If you have a child who is sick, maybe you should try that prayer. Saying it is easy; meaning it is hard. If you’re like me though, you’ll get so tired from trying to control things that are impossible for you to control, that your will will be broken and you will surrender that which was never yours. Sad, huh? Well, at least I can see my flaw.
Tinker Belle is such a blessing. She is so different from me that I can truly appreciate her personality from the outside looking in. She is often the little calm in the middle of the storm in our family. Anyone can tell by the way she looks at her siblings, especially her twin who is obviously her favorite person in the world, that she loves them in such a special way. It’s just amazing. I know that God will use her in our family in a special way. This is my prayer for Tinker Belle:
“Dear God, I praise you for my little Tinker. You blessed me with more than I have ever expected. I know that when I prayed for a second child, I prayed specifically for a boy. My heart sings Your praises for knowing that I needed Tinker Belle. She is so special, tiny yet strong. Her love for her siblings is so beautiful. I know that she was specially made for a wonderful purpose. I pray You lay Your protective hand over her. I pray that she loves You more than she loves anything else. I pray that her quiet, reserved personality serves You well. You are truly an awesome God. Guide me as her mother. Help me to teach her to love You first. Use her in an awesome way. I praise You, I praise You, I praise You.”
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