Ringmaster Part II

     I know I promised it wouldn't be very long before I posted again, but you know how life gets out of control sometimes.  Sissy's wedding was wonderful, and tiring.  I think I learned now more than ever that she, Adod, and I are all three just Greeks in training. (I don't know if I've mentioned this, but Sissy and I refer to our mom's as "the Greeks", which we got from the moms and aunts off of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".  We loved those bossy loud ladies so much without knowing why until one day we got lost in a nearby city with our mothers in the backseat.  It all became very clear.)  In truth, we are more like the Greeks than we realize, and we are ever getting closer to being the same.  We are all just lively, energetic, opinionated women.  No wonder there were almost a few fist fights and maybe a couple of tantrums during the weekend.  It was wonderful.
     Sissy was one of the most beautiful brides I have ever seen, and I 'm not exaggerating.  There was a beauty radiating from her that is God given.  Things fell together perfectly thanks in large part to Godmother (her mommy).  Lots of people helped out; so many family and friends were there from out of town as well as those who live here, so there was always a lot going on.  Sissy held it together pretty well.  There were very few times that we saw a crack in her composure, and even then, probably only those of us who know her best would have seen it.  She never speaks harshly to people, and there were a few times she got a little snippy and demanding.  I think any bride has that right.  If ever there were a stressful week in the life of a woman, that is one.  Anyway, she was absolutely gorgeous, the ceremony was perfect, and Taylor will be a wonderful husband to her.  He was one of the most precious grooms I have ever seen during a ceremony, and it is obvious that he is deeply in love.

     As for Princess, she was a beautiful little flower girl.  She was already tired by the time pictures started and the day broke heat records, so that made things a little difficult in the life of a four year old.  She was not the easiest she had ever been to deal with, but she was the most beautiful cowboy boot clad flower girl I had ever laid eyes on.  It's amazing to me how as a parent we can look at our child one day and love them even more deeply.  She did her job well coming down the aisle, but couldn't last on stage through the 45 minute ceremony.  She went and sat with my Godparents aka Memaw and Pepaw.  How she almost fell asleep in that heat is amazing to me.  She had fun at the reception, of course, and only requested ice cream as her prize for doing well.  (Yes, at one point I was willing to bribe her.)

     Dean, my personal hero once again, dealt with our real life while I was in a wedding wonderland last week.  He shuffled his two work schedules around quite a bit.  He kept them, dressed them, and kept them quiet at the wedding.  He and his dad (his parents also attended, because they know the family, and well, it's a small town and we're all freakishly close) took the twins out of the covered outdoor area and let them play in the grass.  My mom went to my house for a few hours earlier in the day to help him out some, so that he wouldn't be too far behind on the farm.  It was a wild few days.  Just to give you a feel for it, here's our schedule for part of that week:
Wednesday night--Dean and I held our weekly small group and then went to my Godmother's to see Adod and her husband before the chaos hit.
Thursday - I worked all day, Dean worked half a day and then left due to us not having a sitter, I went home to relieve Dean so he could get some work done, an hour later, a different sitter came, I left to go to a bridesmaid's dinner with Sissy, Dean came in about 3 hours later to relieve the sitter, I was with Sissy and the other girls until about 1 am, while Dean got everyone fed and in bed.
Friday-- Dean went to work, I got up at 6:30 (the kids must have forgotten I was up late), cleaned the house, took all three children on an hour long jewelry delivery run, then I went back to town and met my parents for breakfast, dropped Tinker Belle off with my mother in law, took Princess and Tank with me to a PreK evaluation for Princess (30 minutes in the opposite direction), came back from there, took those two with me to the store to pick up some necessities (ie toilet paper), picked up Tinker Belle, a plant hanger, and some jars that were borrowed from a neighbor for the wedding, and headed over to Godmother's where I'm not even sure what help I was other than offering my cute babies to snuggle my godmother who was bearing the heaviest burden of stress at that point.  I then went back home, put the twins down for a nap, got myself ready (and Princess) for the rehearsal, was rescued by AThack from way back who babysat for me because Dean had to be part of the graduation for his high school students and couldn't go with me and wrestle the kiddos.  My mom left the rehearsal, went back to my house and picked up the twins when it was over and then took them to the rehearsal dinner for me.  After the dinner was over, I took them all home, put them to bed and as soon as Dean got home, we collapsed in bed.
Saturday-- I got up at our regular time (6:45), made breakfast, straightened up, and Adod and Sissy picked me up at 9 am.  Dean stayed with all three kids for a few hours, mom came and let him finish up some farm work, then he went back and took care of them and got them ready for the wedding.  Sissy, Adod, and I were all at the beauty shop for the next several hours, then we picked up Princess and went to Godmother's to get our make up done and get ready, then we went to have pictures done at the wedding site, then went back to Godmother's for a freshen up moment, then went back for the actual wedding, then did a few more pictures, then off to the reception.  After the reception, Dean and I were together once again and took our little brood home to roost.  We sat up for a while with Princess, and then called it a night. 

Then we were up again at 6:45 the next morning getting ready for church.

     It's amazing how busy life can be.  These events were all wonderful, but man was I exhausted when it was over, and I'm sure there were a ton of other people who felt the same way.  Before I had children, a weekend like that would have been supplemented with sleeping late and naps and such, but those are just things of the past now.  It's a blessing, still, because Bubby (Tank) loves his early morning snuggles with mommy, and Tinker Belle is so happy when she first wakes up that you can't be mad at her for waking you early with her little "uh ohhs" that she sings from her crib.  This week is another busy one.  Babysitting issues continue, Princess has a dance recital coming up which requires more practices than I personally feel necessary for a four year old, and Premier is having a busy week in my life.  Those are all on top of our regular schedule.  But you know what?  I'm looking straight in the face of summer and thanking God that I have a job that allows me so much time with my children.  I'm reminded why I chose a job that doesn't pay all that much or receive a whole lot of recognition these last weeks when students come by to give me a card or a hand made gift (which doesn't happen too often in a high school), and I know that I'll be on baby time this time next week.  Life is busy, but it is still blessed.  I might have been crying yesterday about what I'm going to do for a sitter the rest of the week (which I still haven't figured out completely right now), but I know I'm lucky for the situation I have.  Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the truth rather than worrying with the little things.

Here's my prayer to all you other busy mamas and women:
"Thank You, God, for a full life.  Thank You for people around me who are in exciting stages of their lives.  Thank You for the blessing of children to complicate my schedule.  God, I know there are those out there who would love to have so many people around them and so many things to do, and I praise You even when it seems like too much.  Thank You for my parents, in laws, and friends who love me and my children enough to disrupt their own lives to help me accomplish my duties and goals.  Thank You for a husband who is a full time father, Thank You for friends like AThack who will give up a Friday evening to watch my babies, thank You for my mom who will put off her own duties to help my husband with our children, thank You for parents-in-law who will work their schedules around ours when we need them to, thank You for my Godsisters who make me feel like a true sister.  God, I thank You for so many things, and I am humbled because I know I don't deserve them. Thank You for stress, for without it, my life would be empty. I love and praise you."

Just call me Ringmaster...(part 1)

     May is always an especially busy time for my family.  Since Dean and I are both teachers (high school), there are additional events we attend (i.e. 2 proms, 2 graduations, etc.). In addition, we are both teachers of subjects that have state tests.  Therefore, we stay pretty stressed.  On top of that, Dean's work on the farm doubles, and hay season hits then too, so he needs to work longer hours to get hay "up" (cut, fluffed, racked, and bailed) as quickly as he can.  It stinks; not the hay part alone, the combination of everything.  This year has been a particular struggle since I have started my Premier business, AND...... SISSY'S GETTING MARRIED (WOOHOO)!!!! Just this morning, I equated organizing my family for the next two weeks to being the conductor of a symphony, but honestly, I think it's more like being the ringmaster of a three ring circus.  I can handle the ordinary struggles listed above, sort of, but to add chaos to chaos, the twins have begun to add their own craziness to our "down time",  and Princess isn't helping much either. 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, in this ring.....

     Bubba, aka Tank, is wanting very badly to walk.  He's not there yet, but what he lacks in walking ability, he makes up for with his climbing skills.  HE CLIMBS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!  Therefore, I have dubbed him my high wire act.  He is fearless.  Anything he can get a leg up on, he can climb.  He may fall, but he can climb it.  This is a new problem for me.  Princess didn't climb.  Granted, every moment of my life was devoted to making sure she didn't get hurt, so maybe it was more me than her.  At this point in my life, it is impossible to watch every child every second, and trust me, he's fast.  Therefore, he has thus far conquered the Dora table, kitchen chairs, the fireplace ledge, the walker (he didn't make it in the the correct manner), and I'm honestly not sure what else.  He may also be an alligator wrestler, since he tends to beat up his sisters without even knowing it.  He's unusually strong for his age, which he proves by laying back and flinging his chunky little bull legs together when throwing a fit.  He could take down any ol' gator he wanted.  In this circus, he'll play both roles.

AND IN THIS RING.....

     Tinker Belle is my contortionist.  Just you try to get her in her car seat when she doesn't want to be.  She somehow bows herself out so that you loosen the straps to get her in, then she shrinks herself down and can pull her arms through, so you have to tighten it right back up.  (I always win this fight, but she sure is clever.)  She can squeeze into tight, tiny places.  I know because she usually can't get back out.  How she gets between the couch and the wall is beyond me.  You'd think that wherever her shoulders could fit, she could get back out of, but no.  She also will weave herself through a variety of larger play toys, and then get stuck.  She may also be the escape artist.  I have yet to find a high chair that can contain her.  She is so tiny, that we have the straps as tight as they can go, but if she can get one little foot up and under her, she's as good as out.  She hasn't fallen out yet, but before I could get Princess's dinner plate fixed, she was standing up, looking proud.  I feel like these traits will serve her well in our little family circus.

AND FINALLY....

     Princess will more than likely become the owner of the entire circus since she can manipulate better than most adults, but for right now, she's my lion tamer.  She spends a great deal of time trying to train the twins to do what she wants of them.  If she really wants them to be in another room, she'll carry drag them there.  We scold her constantly, but I think she does it without thinking.  She will try to take their hands or grab them from behind around their chest (just under the armpit) and let them walk, but Tinker Belle isn't all that concerned with walking and usually just lifts up her legs and smiles as Princess carries her through the house.  She's naturally bossy, so I think these are the best jobs for her.

     Dean and I are usually the dual Ringmasters, or maybe we're the clowns.  I'm not really sure.  Together, we are all a freak show.  Dean and I try our best to keep everyone organized, happy, and healthy.  That alone is a big job.  Throw in life, and it's almost impossible.  I've actually been gone for a while due to a sickness that swept through the children in our house robbing us all of sleep.  Although I wasn't sure at times, we made it.  The circus survived one show and has moved on to another.  Let's see what the next crowd thinks.

~Stay tuned for more about farming, jewelry, and Sissy's wedding.  I promise it'll be posted soon.~

Here's my prayer for all you other ringmasters out there:

     "God, today what I want is to not only survive, but to thrive.  I want joy to be the tone of my family.  I want to be a good mother and wife.  I want to feel fulfilled by You.  I want to feel peace even when the storm is raging.  Help me to be organized.  Help my children to be happy.  Help us to love You better. Help me to ENJOY this life You've blessed me with.  Amen."

Peace--and Green eggs and Ham

I'll admit upfront that I shamelessly stole this idea from my good friend SFields.  She is such a talented writer (you can read her blog by clicking on it on the side of this page--ethanfgodschild), and recently she posted about unfairness to the rhyme of "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie".  It was beautiful and moving.  I was sitting at the table today worrying over the fact that Princess (4) doesn't eat anything while sharing my supper with the twins (10 months) who had already eaten their own dinner but decided they wanted mine too.  They've been into EVERYTHING lately, doing things like pulling everything out of a cabinet, climbing on our Dora table, you name it.  Anyway, I was wallowing in my reoccurring self pity of "wanting peace".  At the same time, I was lamenting the fact that my four year old turned her nose up at the healthy dinner I worked hard (amidst screaming babies) to fix her.  Then, it hit me.  I all too often turn my nose up at the peace God offers, even though I know it is good for me.  I was reminded of the Dr. Seuss rhyme "Green Eggs and Ham".  So, while I'm definitely no poet and I lost the flow here and there, here's the Rea version of "Green Eggs and Ham" rightly named "Peace" since that is what God graciously offers me even when I constantly refuse it.  Now is a good time to mention that my nickname is pronounced "Ray" though spelled differently, since it would mess up the rhyme if you pronounce it otherwise.


"PEACE"
 

Good morning my dear little Rea,

I’ve brought some peace for you today

Oh no, dear Lord, I’ll be just fine.

I’m much too busy racing time.

For I’m late you see, to teach my pupils,

But maybe later after I pay the bills.

...

Good lunchtime to my precious Rea,

I still have peace for you today.

Oh no, dear Lord, I’m in a rush.

It’s so loud here; I need some hush.

So instead of taking peace from You,

I think I’ll whine to a friend or two.

...

 

Good afternoon my sweet girl Rea,

I’ve kept some peace for you today.

So sorry Lord, but I’m feeling hazy,

And it’s time for me to go see my babies.

They’ve missed me, You see, while I’ve be gone,

But maybe I’ll try some tonight at home.

...

 

Good dinner to my little girl Rea,

There’s still some time for peace today.

Oh, I could not try it now dear God!

There are dishes waiting to be washed,

And then there’s laundry in a pile,

And those bills I mentioned have waited erewhile,

But before that, three baths and then my own,

And my favorite TV show comes on,

And then of course to you I’ll pray

(I’m already thinking of Holy things to say.)

You see my Savior, there’s just too much

I’d love some peace, but my time’s a crunch,

And while I’m at it, I’ll need to have read,

And cleaned the toilet before going to bed,

And then I’ll lay down my weary head,

And I’ll call to you and ask for…..peace.

...

 

Good night to you my princess Rea,

I hope you’ll take this peace I’ve saved.

OKAY, OKAY, I’ll try it out,

But if it doesn’t work, I’m sure to pout.

What do you think my sweet child Rea,

Do you like the peace I gave?

Oh, yes Dear Lord! I love it dear!

I did not know you were so near

Following me from place to place

Offering peace in my crazy race.

It seems strange now, those things stressing me

Are nothing at all, yet they made me scream.

I never want to lose this peace,

For my hurting soul has begun to ease.

Thank You, God, forgive me I pray

For avoiding the peace You offer each day.

Now don’t you see my silly Rea,

I’ll give you peace brand new each day.

Just trust me with those little things,

And see what strength my true peace brings.

Hold tight to it and I’ll see you through

And that peace I give will exude from you

And you’ll show it to the world around

And they’ll ask about this peace you’ve found.

Then, my dear, you lead them to me,

And I’ll give them peace that sets them free.

And one day in heaven you’ll all be found

With peace untold all around

Then, my dear, My plan you’ll see,

Just take this peace that sets you free.

One more iron in the fire?

     I have never been more busy in life than I am now.  I struggle so much to just enjoy certain parts of my day.  I find myself throwing down a shirt mid-folding to pick up one of my kids and kiss their little faces just to pick up the shirt and start over.  Oh well, I think.  I'll be happier that I did it than I would be if I hadn't.  I think as mothers we can all agree that there are never too many kisses or cuddles.  I can't always neglect my housework, but you wouldn't know it to look around my house sometimes.  Still, through the chaos, I have yearned for a ministry.  My husband and I host and teach a small group for youth, but I have wanted a ministry of my own.  I love supporting Dean's passion for Christ, but I felt that God wanted more from me than to just clean up the house, cook a little dinner, and be the " youth mom" to our group.  He gave me my own gifts to use, and I was hiding behind all of the things I was doing already rather then trying to fulfill His purpose in my life.  I believe we travel through phases in life and along the way God shows us how to use that time in our lives to serve Him best.  If we aren't careful, we may pass through a phase without serving Him specifically.  What a tragedy.  I can already look back in my life and see times I've missed using the gifts I had at the time to serve Him best.  I didn't want that regret again just because I was "busy raising my children". 
     Since the twins were born (and I suppose even when I was pregnant with them) I have been drawn to women's ministries.  What I feel led to do, which I'm hoping won't surprise you much, is encourage other women.  I want to encourage ladies of all ages, from the high school to the nursing home, but most specifically I want to encourage young(ish) women and mothers of young children.  I think it's only natural that I'm drawn to women in my own bracket of life.  I floundered around a while, and honestly, you ladies helped me.  I began this blog searching for a ministry.  I actually had hoped that the blog could be my ministry, and while I believe God has used it, I think it has mostly ministered to me.  Eventually, I found what God has been leading me to, and of course, it was something I had been running from for quite a while because it just seems so crazy.
     A friend of mine sells jewelry.  I have hosted shows for her and attended more shows than I can count.  Now, I like jewelry (specifically diamonds), but I have never really worn tons of it, not this kind of jewelry especially.  (It's called "high fashion" jewelry.)  When I thought of this jewelry, (perhaps you've heard of Premier Jewelry) I thought of beautiful middle-aged (my mom is going to kill me for that part) ladies who wear wonderfully put-together outfits with matchy-matchy jewelry.  I, in contrast, am a throw together a (relatively) cute outfit, make sure I have on my wedding rings (I live in a small town), and pray I don't have baby puke on me anywhere type of gal.  I did like the jewelry though, and I have purchased a bit of it over the years.  The jewelry lady, KS-blingbling we'll call her, always talks about the company and how wonderful it is.  Now maybe I wasn't listening closely because I was distracted by the shiny things around me, or maybe I just didn't care, but one day I actually paid a little attention to what I think of as the "you should do this too" speech.  It turns out that Premier was founded by Andy and Joan Horner when they retired because they wanted to become missionaries.  When they realized that God was not leading them to the mission field in a foreign country (which is what they wanted), they began listening to what God wanted them to do.  I could SO relate!  Long story short, their gift was in business, so they began a business that would support missions.  I loved this idea.  Even more, they pay their jewelers as much as possible in order to support single mothers, stay at home mothers, those who simply need more income, those in the education system, and those in full time ministry.  No one is sitting back and getting rich off of the profits, rather, the profits go to a wide variety of ministries around the world.  (Everyone should look into this company just to know there are some truly righteous people out there with the goal of serving God with their talents in business.)  
     After hearing this, I briefly thought about becoming a Premier jeweler.  It lasted about 5 seconds before my right mind kicked in.  I was pregnant with twins for crying out loud.  I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth half the time, much less take on another job.  It nagged at me a little though.  I am not a good sales person, and I hate to ever feel like I'm begging someone for something, even purchasing a product.  Therefore, this Premier thing was not for me.  Still..... I went to another party, almost went for it, and then backed out.  After a year of thinking about it a little here and there, I talked to KS-blingbling about going for it, and I began praying HARD.  All I wanted, I told God, was a little doubt so that I wouldn't have to invest time, money, and effort into this "jewelry thing", much less try to talk to my husband (who does NOT understand the importance of jewelry) that I felt like God was leading me to sell jewelry.  Even typing the statement feels crazy to me.  Why on earth would God ever "lead someone to sell jewelry"?!?  Bibles, maybe.  Religious fiction, you're pushing it.  Jewelry, uh..no.  Anyway, it wouldn't leave me alone.  It was like a bad version of that song "The cat came back the very next day".  The idea followed me to work, home, the shower, and worse of all, bed where it would take up all the room and not let me rest (well, the idea and my three kids were working together on the no rest part).  I would lay there thinking, "God, what I really want is to be the next Beth Moore."  Granted, I didn't wanted to have to write a book or devotional, and I didn't really know how to branch out, and I basically cry the whole time I try to teach the Bible...But God has used unlikely people before, right?  So, I wanted to be a Christian motivational speaker.  There ya go God.  Just wave that cosmic wand and give me the ministry that my vanity, I mean the Holy Spirit, has led me to... Isn't it amazing that God doesn't strike us down sometimes?  There I sat, fighting.  I wanted to work with pregnant teens, I wanted to work with mothers of small children, I wanted to encourage and inspire, and for some reason God wasn't making it happen no matter how hard I cried and prayed.  Hhhmmm.  Maybe it was because the sentence above had too many "I's" in it.  All of those ministries are wonderful, but I wanted to do them because they make me feel good.  What God wanted was to take me out of my comfort zone, put me somewhere that is unlikely to bring glory to Him, and then show His glory to those around me.  Okay, God, I submit.  I will invest time that I don't think I have, money that I know I don't have, and talent that I'm not so sure about either in what You have chosen.  I will sacrifice and invest in Your plan for me.  As soon as I submitted, I felt better.  Honestly, I felt so much better after just going with it that I didn't even care if it made money.  I mean, it's not like anything I had chosen for myself was going to send me loads of cash, right?  I was hoping to make back my investment (just because I didn't want Dean to suffer with me if I didn't), but even then, it was honestly a small price to pay to get the nagging off my conscience.  In it, all I heard was, "where's your faith Rea?  Would I ask you to do something that would harm you, or harm you without purpose?  You told Me I was most important to you Rea, so why aren't you living that way?  You told me that you loved Me more than you loved your husband or children, but you are using them as an excuse."  It was awful, but it was true.  It's so easy to hide behind my family.  I love them so much, but I love God more.  He is my savior and creator.  He is the only reason I know how to love at all, yet I'm going to put something (even an important something) in front of His will?  How dare I! 
     So here I am.  I'm a licensed jeweler for Premier Designs Company, with the goal of showing love, encouragement, and glorifying God by going into the homes of any woman who will let me in and enriching her life, if even for an hour.  Wish me luck...Better yet, pray for me.  I'm going to need it.  Here's my prayer for myself as well as my prayer for any other woman looking for her ministry or fighting the ministry God has given her:
   "Oh, Lord, thank You so much for knowing what's best for me and keeping a firm hand on my desires.  Thank You for not letting me convince you of what ministry is right for me.  I praise You for taking me out of my comfort zone, even while it is still painful and awkward.  Touch the hearts of my dear friends who are looking for their own special way to serve You, and help them to listen better than I have.  Please put Your hand on their shoulders as comfort.  Help us to glorify You in all we do, whether it is what we expect or not.  We praise You for how You've used us so far and how You will use us in the future."

Let's remember to encourage one another to actively serve God in the way He leads us.  I love you guys!