One more iron in the fire?

     I have never been more busy in life than I am now.  I struggle so much to just enjoy certain parts of my day.  I find myself throwing down a shirt mid-folding to pick up one of my kids and kiss their little faces just to pick up the shirt and start over.  Oh well, I think.  I'll be happier that I did it than I would be if I hadn't.  I think as mothers we can all agree that there are never too many kisses or cuddles.  I can't always neglect my housework, but you wouldn't know it to look around my house sometimes.  Still, through the chaos, I have yearned for a ministry.  My husband and I host and teach a small group for youth, but I have wanted a ministry of my own.  I love supporting Dean's passion for Christ, but I felt that God wanted more from me than to just clean up the house, cook a little dinner, and be the " youth mom" to our group.  He gave me my own gifts to use, and I was hiding behind all of the things I was doing already rather then trying to fulfill His purpose in my life.  I believe we travel through phases in life and along the way God shows us how to use that time in our lives to serve Him best.  If we aren't careful, we may pass through a phase without serving Him specifically.  What a tragedy.  I can already look back in my life and see times I've missed using the gifts I had at the time to serve Him best.  I didn't want that regret again just because I was "busy raising my children". 
     Since the twins were born (and I suppose even when I was pregnant with them) I have been drawn to women's ministries.  What I feel led to do, which I'm hoping won't surprise you much, is encourage other women.  I want to encourage ladies of all ages, from the high school to the nursing home, but most specifically I want to encourage young(ish) women and mothers of young children.  I think it's only natural that I'm drawn to women in my own bracket of life.  I floundered around a while, and honestly, you ladies helped me.  I began this blog searching for a ministry.  I actually had hoped that the blog could be my ministry, and while I believe God has used it, I think it has mostly ministered to me.  Eventually, I found what God has been leading me to, and of course, it was something I had been running from for quite a while because it just seems so crazy.
     A friend of mine sells jewelry.  I have hosted shows for her and attended more shows than I can count.  Now, I like jewelry (specifically diamonds), but I have never really worn tons of it, not this kind of jewelry especially.  (It's called "high fashion" jewelry.)  When I thought of this jewelry, (perhaps you've heard of Premier Jewelry) I thought of beautiful middle-aged (my mom is going to kill me for that part) ladies who wear wonderfully put-together outfits with matchy-matchy jewelry.  I, in contrast, am a throw together a (relatively) cute outfit, make sure I have on my wedding rings (I live in a small town), and pray I don't have baby puke on me anywhere type of gal.  I did like the jewelry though, and I have purchased a bit of it over the years.  The jewelry lady, KS-blingbling we'll call her, always talks about the company and how wonderful it is.  Now maybe I wasn't listening closely because I was distracted by the shiny things around me, or maybe I just didn't care, but one day I actually paid a little attention to what I think of as the "you should do this too" speech.  It turns out that Premier was founded by Andy and Joan Horner when they retired because they wanted to become missionaries.  When they realized that God was not leading them to the mission field in a foreign country (which is what they wanted), they began listening to what God wanted them to do.  I could SO relate!  Long story short, their gift was in business, so they began a business that would support missions.  I loved this idea.  Even more, they pay their jewelers as much as possible in order to support single mothers, stay at home mothers, those who simply need more income, those in the education system, and those in full time ministry.  No one is sitting back and getting rich off of the profits, rather, the profits go to a wide variety of ministries around the world.  (Everyone should look into this company just to know there are some truly righteous people out there with the goal of serving God with their talents in business.)  
     After hearing this, I briefly thought about becoming a Premier jeweler.  It lasted about 5 seconds before my right mind kicked in.  I was pregnant with twins for crying out loud.  I didn't have the energy to brush my teeth half the time, much less take on another job.  It nagged at me a little though.  I am not a good sales person, and I hate to ever feel like I'm begging someone for something, even purchasing a product.  Therefore, this Premier thing was not for me.  Still..... I went to another party, almost went for it, and then backed out.  After a year of thinking about it a little here and there, I talked to KS-blingbling about going for it, and I began praying HARD.  All I wanted, I told God, was a little doubt so that I wouldn't have to invest time, money, and effort into this "jewelry thing", much less try to talk to my husband (who does NOT understand the importance of jewelry) that I felt like God was leading me to sell jewelry.  Even typing the statement feels crazy to me.  Why on earth would God ever "lead someone to sell jewelry"?!?  Bibles, maybe.  Religious fiction, you're pushing it.  Jewelry, uh..no.  Anyway, it wouldn't leave me alone.  It was like a bad version of that song "The cat came back the very next day".  The idea followed me to work, home, the shower, and worse of all, bed where it would take up all the room and not let me rest (well, the idea and my three kids were working together on the no rest part).  I would lay there thinking, "God, what I really want is to be the next Beth Moore."  Granted, I didn't wanted to have to write a book or devotional, and I didn't really know how to branch out, and I basically cry the whole time I try to teach the Bible...But God has used unlikely people before, right?  So, I wanted to be a Christian motivational speaker.  There ya go God.  Just wave that cosmic wand and give me the ministry that my vanity, I mean the Holy Spirit, has led me to... Isn't it amazing that God doesn't strike us down sometimes?  There I sat, fighting.  I wanted to work with pregnant teens, I wanted to work with mothers of small children, I wanted to encourage and inspire, and for some reason God wasn't making it happen no matter how hard I cried and prayed.  Hhhmmm.  Maybe it was because the sentence above had too many "I's" in it.  All of those ministries are wonderful, but I wanted to do them because they make me feel good.  What God wanted was to take me out of my comfort zone, put me somewhere that is unlikely to bring glory to Him, and then show His glory to those around me.  Okay, God, I submit.  I will invest time that I don't think I have, money that I know I don't have, and talent that I'm not so sure about either in what You have chosen.  I will sacrifice and invest in Your plan for me.  As soon as I submitted, I felt better.  Honestly, I felt so much better after just going with it that I didn't even care if it made money.  I mean, it's not like anything I had chosen for myself was going to send me loads of cash, right?  I was hoping to make back my investment (just because I didn't want Dean to suffer with me if I didn't), but even then, it was honestly a small price to pay to get the nagging off my conscience.  In it, all I heard was, "where's your faith Rea?  Would I ask you to do something that would harm you, or harm you without purpose?  You told Me I was most important to you Rea, so why aren't you living that way?  You told me that you loved Me more than you loved your husband or children, but you are using them as an excuse."  It was awful, but it was true.  It's so easy to hide behind my family.  I love them so much, but I love God more.  He is my savior and creator.  He is the only reason I know how to love at all, yet I'm going to put something (even an important something) in front of His will?  How dare I! 
     So here I am.  I'm a licensed jeweler for Premier Designs Company, with the goal of showing love, encouragement, and glorifying God by going into the homes of any woman who will let me in and enriching her life, if even for an hour.  Wish me luck...Better yet, pray for me.  I'm going to need it.  Here's my prayer for myself as well as my prayer for any other woman looking for her ministry or fighting the ministry God has given her:
   "Oh, Lord, thank You so much for knowing what's best for me and keeping a firm hand on my desires.  Thank You for not letting me convince you of what ministry is right for me.  I praise You for taking me out of my comfort zone, even while it is still painful and awkward.  Touch the hearts of my dear friends who are looking for their own special way to serve You, and help them to listen better than I have.  Please put Your hand on their shoulders as comfort.  Help us to glorify You in all we do, whether it is what we expect or not.  We praise You for how You've used us so far and how You will use us in the future."

Let's remember to encourage one another to actively serve God in the way He leads us.  I love you guys!