Coming home with twins was an intimidating idea. When I had Princess, I didn’t want to leave the hospital because I was afraid of taking care of her. When I had to leave the hospital with the twins, I could have cried. It wasn’t that I was afraid of taking care of a baby. (I was feeling better about that after three years of experience with Princess.) Instead, my hesitation to leave a place with around the clock care and assistance was because I knew how demanding a newborn was, and I was getting a pretty good idea of how demanding two would be. I read a few books on twins that not only suggested lining up help for when you come home with twins, but also gave examples of schedules and such. I didn’t go as far as scheduling, but I probably would have if my helpers had volunteered. I was so worried when I had Princess that I would not go to bed and leave her with anyone, not even my mother. If you are a new mother and can relate to this, do yourself a favor and get over it. I promise you that your baby will still love you most. I also promise that your child can survive a few hours without you as long as they are being taken care of by someone who knows how to take care of an infant. I promise you that you being in your child’s presence is NOT what makes him/her/them survive. I can also promise that you will enjoy your child more if you are not sleep deprived. (The rest of the world will probably like YOU better, too. This is my personal experience here.) I got over any hesitation about leaving them in the night pretty quickly with the twins. (Those who volunteered to come keep the twins at night while I slept were enthusiastically greeted.) My helpers would come at night as well as early in the morning to help. My mother, godmother, Sissy, and Sil each did some night shifts. It worked out particularly well that Sissy was in college and was used to staying up all night because it didn’t seem to even bother her much and she had no hesitations of just crawling in bed with me when Dean left so that we all got as much sleep as possible. The helpers and twins would stay on the other end of the house (so that I couldn’t hear the babies cry) and bring them to me to nurse when necessary (giving them supplemental bottles to ensure sleep time). It was AWESOME, especially when Dean went back to work and couldn’t get up as much in the night. I left them with these wonderful people without thinking twice. If I had been able to afford it, I would have hired a night nanny a few times a week. (I think about it even now, over four months later.) My in-laws took early morning shifts and came over before the sun rose to allow me to sleep in. The goal was always 6 straight hours of sleep. Pure heaven.
To be realistic, it’s not getting up three to four times a night that makes you so exhausted; it’s doing that every night of your life that gets tiring. It always hit me about the third night. I think my crew realized this and tried to intervene on my behalf. My poor husband stayed equally tired since it took two of us to feed them in the night. Dean could sleep through anything, but he was a real trooper and told me to wake him to feed one while I fed the other. I was used to getting up a lot with Princess when she was a baby, but he was not because she was strictly nursed, which rendered him pretty useless. Princess has never been a good sleeper. In fact, we were a co-sleeping family with her, due to her inability to actually sleep, my constant worry, and her constant croup. It just seemed easier. We knew, however, that co-sleeping with her once the twins arrived was not a good idea, so Dean took it upon himself to work her into her own bed. He would, and still does, lay down with her until she fell asleep. It worked out pretty well, since she thought it was her idea and I took up a great deal of room with my massive belly and crew of pillows necessary for supporting it, thus making her uncomfortable. In addition, we knew that co-sleeping with twins would not be easy, so we opted for bassinets. The ones with wheels were especially handy for those who came to help out. We would simply roll them back and forth.
There were other friends who came to visit and hold a baby for a while and helped out in different ways. We had a wonderful church family who brought us dinner for an entire week. (If you’ve never thought to do this for someone who has just come home with a baby, DO IT!) There is nothing as good as not having to worry about meeting that need for your family. My friend Adod assisted in unique ways such as picking up premie stuff when we realized newborn clothes didn’t fit Tinker and making sure I had caffeine free drinks at home and at Godmother’s (Adod’s husband helped with this too.) It’s funny how the little things can mean so much. I never would have imagined how much it would mean to sleep, drink something other than water, and have clothes that fit Tinker just right. The help hasn’t stopped. We are constantly grateful for people who help. My sister in law, Sil, gets us formula at a cheaper price by going to a wholesale store for us. Our babysitters come to our house to make it easier on the babies. The blessings are endless. I don’t know what I’ve done to have family and friends that are so loving, giving, and abundant, but I truly praise God for them. God knows me better than I know myself, so I know he knows that I need the help. There are times even now that I could just sit down and give up, even with all of the help I have. But just when I almost do, Tank looks at me like I’m his favorite person in the world and smiles his big, friendly smile at me. My heart melts down and is renewed. Life is good.
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